Conflict Resolution

Hello Gardeners!

We have recently launched Season 2 of our web series, Hello Gardeners. To catch up and see what we’ve been doing in the greenhouse, click the image below!

With school starting up again, we are introduced to new teachers, new classmates, new schedules, and sometimes new schools! When new people are put into new places, that can lead to new conflicts. Because we are all unique people with differing goals and opinions, conflict is bound to arise in any situation involving more than one person. Managing conflicts in a healthy way not only provides us with the opportunity to learn and grow, but strengthens the bond between the people involved.

#GardenerAnna & #GardenerAidan practice some of these techniques while filming Hello Gardeners! All of us with siblings know it's not always easy to be patient and calm while working with them. These two handle it like pros by taking turns and compromising!

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Here are some tips to resolving conflict in the classroom, on the playground, at home, or at practice!

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Keep calm

It’s best to approach resolving conflict with a calm demeanor. When we approach a conflict feeling annoyed, impatient, or angry, we can actually do more harm than good!

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Ignore the bad behavior and walk away

If someone is just trying to get a rise out of you, sometimes the strongest response is to stay calm and walk away! It shows them that you are not interested in engaging with that behavior and you aren’t going to give them the satisfaction of seeing you get upset. Read our post about walking away to learn more!

Remember when #GardenerAidan helped his friend #GardenerEmma pull her weed by walking away from a bad situation? Great job, Emma!

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Ask for help

Sometimes you need a 3rd party to help mediate the conversation - ask a friend, teacher, babysitter, coach, or parent to help!

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Use a game of chance to decide

Using games like Rock, Paper, Scissors, a coin toss, or picking a piece of paper out of a bowl eliminates indecisiveness and arguing over what to do! Do this when struggling to pick a movie, a board game, what to eat for dinner, etc.

This is a great way to pick a movie for a sleepover!

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Share and take turns

Sharing teaches us patience, manners, and respect! By sharing or taking turns with others, you also have the opportunity to make new friends. Read our post on the value of sharing to learn more!

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Compromise

Brainstorm all the different ways to resolve the problem and agree on the one that makes everyone feel included!

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Say “no” and stand firm

If you see something or experience something that makes you feel uncomfortable, attacked, or teased, it is 100% okay to say “no” or “stop”. A huge part of maintaining relationships is learning the other person’s boundaries. We all have different limits! Be firm, stay calm, and ask for a help if the bad behavior continues.

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Apologize

Sometimes all someone needs to hear is an apology to feel respected and move on. Recognize when you need to apologize or ask your friend for an apology. If you need help forming your apology, read our post here!

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Use an “I” message

Instead of saying “you keep on bothering me” or “you are so annoying”, form a statement that explains how you wanted to be treated. Something like, “I don’t like it when people get in my personal space, because it makes me feel ____” or “I feel really disrespected when you shout over me in class”.

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Listen & be open

It’s important to hear the other person out - you don’t know how they experienced the situation and if you hear them out, they will hear you out. Be sure to not interrupt them and try to see the situation from their point of view.

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Conflicts arise out of lots of different situations. Whether it’s two people who want to do different activities, classmates picking on one another, or fights between siblings, there is always a way to solve the problem! We can all learn to be a little more open, patient, and understanding by working through conflict rather than running from it or responding with an attack!

Remember, if you have a weed you can always reach out to #GardenerAnna & #GardenerAidan to help you pull it! Email us at flowers@youareagardener.com or tag us @youareagardener. We have renamed Wednesdays, #PullYourWeedWednesdays - so if you are ever looking for a little help with you conflict, tune in and we’ll help you #PullYourWeeds!